The Leader of the Band

Yesterday I was driving back from San Antonio with my wife after visiting my dad and stepmom. (Can I tell you that I hate that word stepmom? She is the sweetest lady and that word does not even come close to describe her.) Anyway, as I was driving, we had my IPod playing the Best of Dan Fogelberg. One of my favorite songs is “The Leader of the Band”. It pays homage to his father as he is now getting up in age. I find myself also reflecting on the life of my own father.

I have been blessed beyond words as my father has been a dad in every sense of the word. My dad was born in Puerto Rico and came to the US via the Korean War. While serving over there, he was one of the few of his platoon to survive a “big push”. He was severely wounded and sent to Brook Army Medical Center at Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio. He spent the next year and a half in the hospital. It was there that he met a missionary and fell in love. My dad married my mom way before I was twinkle in their eyes.

My mom was a staunch Southern Baptist; my dad was a Disciples of Christ. You can guess who won that denominational battle. My dad enrolled in a Hispanic Southern Baptist seminary in San Antonio. After seminary, my dad went onto pastor several small Spanish speaking congregations throughout Texas.

Dad’s health due to his war injuries and others, allowed him the opportunity to finally get his 100% disability and retire. I was a sophomore in high school at the time. At the same time my mom’s health declined leaving her mostly bedridden. My dad waited on my mom hand and foot until the day the Lord took her into glory.

A couple of years later he marries a lady from Puerto Rico, named Carmen. Carmen as I said earlier is a fantastic woman. In early 1990, she suffered a major stroke leaving her with physical and speech limitations. Again, my dad dotes on her. They make the cutest couple. That’s what I want, if the Lord allows me to reach 83 years.

As I listened to the song I couldn’t help but thinking of my own dad. The part that always gets me tearing up is the last part of the song as follows:

I thank you for the music

And your stories of the road

I thank you for the freedom

When it came my time to go --

I thank you for the kindness

And the times when you got tough

And, Papa, I don’t think I said

I love you near enough --

The leader of the band is tired

And his eyes are growing old

But his blood runs through my instrument

And his song is in my soul --

My life has been a poor attempt

To imitate the man

I’m just a living legacy

To the leader of the band

I am the living legacy

To the leader of the band.

My dad is living a great legacy and I try to tell him I love him so much. I am proud of my dad. My favorite time of my visits to see Dad is when I’m leaving. You see my dad will stand in front of the house and wave; and keep waving until we turn the corner and are out of sight. I know one day he will not be there to wave and so I cherish each and every wave. Isn’t that silly?

God bless you and I hope you a great and happy Christmas! Feliz Navidad!

Knight in Shining Armour

We all grew up hearing the fairy tales that start out with the words, “Once upon a time…” When you heard those words, you knew a good story was coming and your ears would perk up. There was a sense of security in that no matter what happened in the story, it would end up with, “…and they lived happily ever after.”

Most girls liked to hear the one of Prince Charming. The Princess would go thru all this turmoil, but in the end her prince, riding on a white horse, came to save the day. Most women still believe in that fairy tale. She wants her husband to take care of things. She wants her Prince Charming. Studies show that the number one need a woman has is security.

Security comes in several ways. One way is thru physical safety. She needs to feel that if she was confronted with a physical threat; her man would step in and take care of business. This doesn’t mean you get into a physical altercation to prove your manhood, but she needs to know you would if it came down to it. The Bible is very clear about this. In Ephesians, Paul tells us, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." (Ephesians 5:25)

Men, this means if need be, you must be willing to lay down your life for your wife and family. God has wired us to be protectors. Several months ago, my wife and I went to dinner with another couple. After dinner, the wife told me in passing of what had happened to her earlier that evening. She said while opening her car door, she accidently bumped the car parked next to them. The man happened to be in the car and he jumped out and proceeded to berate her. Her husband just walked away. My mouth just dropped open. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I pulled the husband over to the side and explained to him how different that scenario would have been if that would have happened to my wife and me. My Latin blood would have started to boil.

Does your wife feel secure? Does your wife see you as her knight in shining armor? My prayer is that you will understand your role as protector.

Blessings!

Being Transparent

I grew up in a family that has lots of secrets. I remember my mom telling me on several occasions, “This is a family secret. We don’t tell anyone these things.” And so we weren’t allowed to even speak to other family members about things they already knew. How crazy is that?

As I grew up, I believed in holding secrets. Most men are like this. We have a bunch of secrets in our lives and as we get older, we keep adding to them. I have to tell you that this way of thinking is completely wrong! The Bible says in James 5:16- “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

This is a powerful message. The fact of the matter is most of us would love to tell another person all the junk that we’ve been keeping in all these years. But, how do you do this? You have to first start with prayer the Lord will bring to you a man that is trustworthy and not judgmental; one you feel safe talking to. Remember, you just don’t go out and spill your guts out to the first man you see.

I struggled with this at first, but once I got a bunch of junk off my chest, I felt so much better and it got easier and easier. I now live a transparent life. I am tired of hiding all of my faults and struggles. How about you?

I want to give you another huge insight- We’re all jacked up! This is the result of living in a fallen world, but Satan doesn’t want you to know it. He doesn’t want you to know that the guy right next to you in church is struggling with the same issues you are and possibly even worse. And he’s done a pretty good job of it.

My prayer for you is that you will find a guy or two you can open up to and begin to live a more transparent life. I guarantee you will be a better man for it.

Blessings on you today!

Accountability to One Another

I know that many of you have heard the term “accountability”. That word is a big buzz word right now, with all of that’s going on in our country financially and the big bail outs. Americans do not want to just give a blank check of billions to the Big 3 Auto makers. They want them to be held “accountable”. In other words, Americans want to know how they plan to spend that money and they want some check and balances. It did not help their situation when the 3 top executives flew from Detroit to DC aboard their private jets costing $20,000 per jet.

In a man’s life, we all need accountability. We need someone we can trust to ask us the hard questions in life. We also need someone to bounce off ideas. A man, who is not accountable to anyone, is headed for destruction.

I know of a family that is headed for divorce all because there hasn’t been anyone in his life for him to be accountable. For whatever reason, all men feel they have to cover up and keep things inside. We all feel that the thoughts that fill our minds are just us and no else think those things. Well, I’m here to tell you that you’re WRONG! All men have those thoughts.

The question is not whether you have these thoughts or not, but how long do you entertain them? And do you act out on them? You see, with no one keeping you accountable, it is easy to go down that slippery slope. That is what has happened to this man. He entertained, then with no one to be accountable to, he started acting out a little bit at a time. He entered the world of porn, but it did not stop there. It went onto seeking out more.

Men, I want you to heed this warning: We all are vulnerable to go down that same road. I know many of us have dabbled in that world. I pray you have someone to help you. Also, ask the Lord for strength to stay away. Ask Him for men to come into your life and pour into you.

I heard this about sin:
* Sin will always take you further than you were willing to go.
* Sin will keep you longer than you were willing to stay.
* And sin will cost you more than you were willing to pay.

Brother, if you do not have someone, I pray you will think of someone in your church you can be accountable with.

Blessings!

Balance

After several years of doing men’s ministry, the one common thread that all men struggle with is: Balance. This is the reason for the name of this ministry, Balancing Life Ministries. We all struggle to put the right amount of time at work, give enough time to our wives and children, somehow do our honey-do lists, and spend time with God. And if we are honest, it’s usually in that order.

I don’t want to date myself too much, but as I kid, I remember watching the old Ed Sullivan Show. I don’t remember too many acts, but somehow one act has always stayed in my mind. Do you remember the guy spinning the plates? If not, let me try to give you a picture of this guy’s act. He would have these long poles, approximately 10 ft. tall and round china plates. He then would proceed to spin a plate on top of the pole. As soon as he had that one going, he would start the next plate spinning. Once he had that one spinning he would go on to the next and so on; all the while keeping all the other plates spinning. The whole act was to see how many plates he could keep spinning without letting any one of those plates fall and break, usually about eight plates.

I feel most of us can identify with that guy. Most of the time, our lives feel like we’re trying to spin as many plates as we can. It seems as soon as we wake up in the morning, we hit the ground running. We have our work demanding more of our time, our wives demanding our time, our children demanding our time, the grass needing to be mowed, and what about church demands? Not to mention, somewhere in there, spend time with God. We’re like that guy trying to balance all those plates. As soon as one gets really spinning, another needs your attention. This blog is to let you know that you are not alone in the journey. ALL OF US struggle with trying to balance life. I also have news for you, you were created not to try to do this alone, either. We have all heard the Bible verse that says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

In other words, God created us to help each other out. I want to help you and any other man out there in achieving that balance. Please let me know if I can assist you in any way. I will be praying for you as you read this blog.