Can I Be Too Honset?

This is my first blog in over 6 months. I want to start writing more often. I am amazed as I read old blogs the things the Lord has allowed me to observe. One thing that has hit me and I’ve been chewing on this for a couple of weeks is how honest is too honest. Let me give you some background. As a middle aged guy, I grew up in a home where there were a lot of secrets. Many a time my mom would say, “This is a family secret. We don’t talk to anyone else about this.” As I have grown and matured, I have seen the damage all these secrets can cause. I came to a point in my life several years ago where I got tired of hiding stuff. I wanted to be as transparent as possible. It was eye opening to see the freedom in this transparency.

I want to address something that I have seen in our younger folk –too much honesty! When I say too much honesty, I mean we must learn to balance what comes out of mouths. We must be honest with others, but we must know when it is best not to say anything at all. I am afraid that some have taken this “liberty” to express their feelings or thoughts without giving much consideration of how this may affect others.

I have spoken with a couple of couples who will blurt out whatever they are feeling in that moment with the guise of “just being honest”. I’ve heard one tell their spouse, “I don’t love you right now”, and “I sometimes ask myself why I married you!” These so called honest feelings will wound and will damage a relationship. Please hear me, it is not that you don’t feel that way, but you must ask yourself of what good saying something like that be helpful in a relation? James 1 says, “whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” And then later says, “…take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, ²⁰ because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

This passage is saying to think before you speak. Ask yourself if what you are about say will hurt or wound. Then ask the Father to give you wisdom for the words that bring healing and love.

I pray you will have a great week in seeking words that encourage and build, not destroy.

Blessings!!